Monday, December 10, 2007

The Obama-Oprah Connection

Oprah Winfrey taps directly into the emotions, beliefs, buying habits and summer reading patterns of billions of women all over the world! Oprah Winfrey has the power to lay waste an entire industry with a mere utterance! She's a completely invincible, unstoppable force of nature...
-- Gin Rummy, "The Boondocks, 'Let's Nab Oprah'"

Oprah Winfrey has joined the political fray. She has decided to throw her support behind Presidential candidate Barack Obama. The question is how much of an influence will Oprah's endorsement have over the Democratic nomination. When Oprah first made the announcement, Right Wing Minister of Propaganda Sean (Goebbels) Hannity was positively giddy about the news. His "Stop Hilary Express" was almost orgasmic at the thought of the Oprah Juggernaut squaring up against the mighty Clinton Machine.

But how effective will Oprah's endorsement be? Will her voice and influence translate into votes at the primaries? It's interesting because Oprah usually seems to target white women (for the most part) in her shows. The women that usually support Oprah usually vote Democratic, and it would stand to follow that those women would vote for someone who most resembles them, in the person of Hilary Rodham Clinton. But will the apparent Clinton supporters turn their support towards Obama, because Oprah says so? Sure, Oprah can make the beef industry blink in a staring contest, and she can propel a man with an active imagination to the top of the best-seller list with his "biography", but as I asked before, can this influence and power translate into action at the polls? Can the other Democratic nominees (after all, it's not over yet) find endorsement power of their own to counter Oprah? Bill Clinton (still a beloved figure in political circles [and I still wanna smack any idiot that claimed that he was the 'first Black President' because he played the sax and got laid with women other than his wife -- but I digress]) is going to have his work cut out for him in order to put his wife into the Big Chair.

What would REALLY make the race interesting is if Obama not only benefitted from Oprah's support, but if he also took kingmaker Karl Rove's advice. Not that I agree with anything Rove does, but his dark magic helped Curious George and the Administration That Couldn't get elected. Twice. And whether you like or loathe Rove, he does offer some good points on overcoming Clinton.

It's going to be an interesting primary season.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Hypocrisy Is The Greatest Luxury -- Raise The Double Standard!

Let's play catch-up. Not too long ago, douchebag commentator Glenn Beck caused a bit of a stir when he interviewed Congressman Keith Ellison. During the interview, Beck all but asked Ellison to take a vow of loyalty, seeing as how Ellison is a Muslim. In fact, what Beck asked and said to Ellison was this:


"prove to me that you are not working with our enemies," saying, "And I know you're not. I'm not accusing you of being an enemy, but that's the way I feel, and I think a lot of Americans will feel that way."
From that point on, I dismissed Beck as a third-rate Hannity wannabe, looking to make his bones by being "controversial." So, why am I bringing him up again? Well, because this time, Beck not only proves to be a douchebag, but he demonstrates the amazing ability to project an extreme double standard that can only be described as hypocrisy.

Mitt Romney made a "Big Speech" about how his Mormon faith will not influence the decisions he would make as President. OK, so far so good. But here's the good part. Beck had the audacity to say "Why are we going to a candidate and asking about religion?" Hm. Let I get this straight (tm -- Homey The Clown). It's OK for you to question a duly-elected representative to Congress, and ask him to convince you that he's not a terrorist, simply because he's Muslim... despite the fact that there was nothing in Ellison's record to even raise an eyebrow regarding his faith... it's OK for you to call into question whether Ellison's faith will affect his judgment and *gasp* his loyalties to the country and the citizens and constituents that he represents. But let someone question Romney about HIS faith, and now it's "aw, who cares?" As you can see, Beck is a hypocrite. I guess I should mention (if you haven't clicked on the Glenn Beck link I posted) that Beck is also a Mormon. So, the message that Beck is sending is that it's OK if I question YOUR religion in regards to politics, but don't you dare question MINE.

Here's the second part of Beck's double-standard and hypocrisy. "Who cares about religion?" Beck asks. Well, Mitt is running for President on the Republican ticket. And who is it that makes their party out to be the party of God, faith, and family values? The Republicans. Who won the election based on boogeyman-like scare tactics regarding immoralities like gay marriage (despite a war going horribly wrong across the globe)? The Republicans. Who makes the biggest (usually hypocritical) fuss about beingthe standard-bearers for what's decent in America? The Republicans. Who have the prominent Evangelical Christian ministers across the country aligned themselves with? Yep. You guessed it. When you have Right Wing nutjobs like Pat Robertson praying for the deaths of Supreme Court justices, so more "righteous" judges can be appointed, and when you have insane commentators like Ann the Coultergeist claiming represent Christianity, then it's only fair that (especially for a Republican) religious conversations will come up.

Beck can't have it both ways. He can't throw other people's faiths under the bus because he doesn't agree with them, and then shrugs his shoulders like it's no big deal when someone that shares HIS faith is also questioned. Especially in a climate where the candidate who happens to share his faith make it a habit of invoking their "faith" at almost every opportunity, usually lording it (no pun intended) over those who they feel morally superior to.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

VH-1's Hip Hop Honors -- Class Of 2007, Suggestions For 2008

Another year, another VH1 Hip Hop Honors Awards. As it stands, this is the closest thing that hip hop has to a Hall of Fame, until someone decides to create one. How did this year's awards ceremony go? Glad you asked. First, let's talk about the honorees. Ladies and gentlemen, your Hip Hop Honors Class Of 2007:


Missy Elliot


Snoop Dogg


Whodini


The movie "Wild Style"


New Jack Swing


A Tribe Called Quest

Comedian Tracy Morgan was the host.

Now, on with the festivities. They opened up by honoring Missy Elliot. To me, this seemed like "OK, let's get this one out of the way so that we can get to the real innovators." I don't HATE Missy, but if you are going to honor her, it is FAR too soon to do so. I will give her credit because her videos are innovative (not too many people would like like a black Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man on purpose). But is that innovation a tribute to her, or to the director? Anyway, for the most part, she is known for her production skills and turning nonsensical phrases into an art form. Who would have thought that "Beep beep/who got the keys to the jeep?/errrrrmmmmmmm..." would be something that someone would quote? It sounds like something you'd hear from someone who needs a helmet to protect themselves. Ciara and a bunch of other folks did some OK renditions of her song. Again, with someone like Queen Latifah not being honored yet, it's too soon to honor Missy. And the whole set seemed to be "...now that we got this over with, let's get on to the festivities."

The tribute to the movie "Wild Style" was OK. The best part of that was a performance by old school legends Chief Rocker Busy Bee and Grandmaster Caz (did you know that he wrote one of the raps for the Sugar Hill Gang?) and recent honoree KRS-One. It was nice, and it sounded like KRS was freestyling the whole time. All of them sounded like they still had it (of course, KRS never lost it).

The tribute to "New Jack Swing" was a bit too long. T-Pain did the impossible and sounded worse than Keith Sweat. Keisha Cole (who has the most gorgeous eyes ever) just went through the motions. Doug E Fresh was pretty good, and one of the Blackstreet dudes (Chauncey, I think) was capable in the supporting role. Nick Cannon (which made me think "Who invited HIM?") did an OK job during this set as well.

The highlight of the set was the appearance of this man:



...Kool Moe Dee, doing "How You Like Me Now." As you can see, it looks like our friend Moe Dee has been in the buffet line too many times. It looks like his name should be "Kool! Mo' Desserts!" Vocally, he sounded as fresh as ever, but him doing any dance steps was simply out of the question. I say that they missed a golden opportunity for complete awesomeness by not having Bobby Brown come out, even for a brief moment, to do "My Prerogative." That would've been television history.

Don't ask me about the Snoop Dogg portion, because at the time, the season premiere of "Boondocks" was on, and I decided that Boondocks >>> Snoop Dogg. Yeah, I said it. Big whoop, wanna fight about it? I do remember that T.I. did one of the Snoop tribute songs, and he sounded better working a Snoop Dogg verse than he did trying to flip a Big Daddy Kane verse.

The tribute where everyone seemed to have the most fun was Whodini's "enshrinement." Nelly and Jermaine Dupri came out and did a couple of songs, and Whodini themselves came out and performed. Dr. Ice, from UTFO, was working the "hype-man" role, and doing a good job of it... especially since Ecstacy sounded like he had one too many Newports before the show started. During "Funky Beat", Dr. Ice was going through a bunch of old school dances, and Nelly even joined him to do the Wop. Jermaine (who got his start working as a dancer for Whodini) did some breakdancing footwork. The set ended with Grand Master D on the turntables, and he had to be carried off stage. It was great... everyone lifted him up, and his hands were still on the tables, and he was still sounding like a skilled DJ. Like I said, it looked like they had fun.

The Tribe Called Quest tribute should've been the highlight of the night. But it was kinda marred by Lupe Fiasco messing up a verse... not for the mess-up itself, but for the attitude that he had afterwards, and how he was almost proud to proclaim that he never heard a Tribe album. Busta Rhymes came out during the performance of possibly one of the greatest posse cuts ever, "Scenario." But he yelled so much that you could barely understand what he was saying. I've seen Busta do MUCH better on TV, including an awards show where he did "Touch It" (which was capped off by a surprise Eminem performance -- but I digress). The Tribe tribute wasn't as great as it could've been. And also, Phife Dog needs a kidney. He was looking "sickly" throughout the tribute, and I found out that it's because he needs a kidney transplant.

All of this brings us to possible honorees for 2008. If it were up to me, here is who I would suggest for VH1's Hip Hop Honors Class of 2008:


Stetsasonic: The original hip hop band


Queen Latifah: Before she started singing, she was the epitome of the Female MC. Plus, her work with the Flavor Unit was ahead of modern-day moguls like Jay Z and Puff.


NWA: At the time, NWA produced groundbreaking material. And if you've gotten the attention of the FBI just for making songs, you must be doing something right.


Too $hort: I'm not a fan of Todd Shaw, aka Too $hort. But his influence in West Coast Hip Hop is unmistakable. Without Too $hort, there would arguably be no Snoop Dogg.


Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince: Shoot, why not? Plus, a DJ tribute to the Magnificent Jazzy Jeff would be face-meltingly awesome, if they got the right turntablists (Q-Bert, Roc Raider, Babu, Mix Master Mike, etc) to do the job.


The movie "Beat Street": What is more hip hop than a movie about a DJ at the famous Roxy, with secondary stories about breakdancing and graffiti, and performances by the Treacherous Three and Grandmaster Melle Mel? Not too many things, my friends.

Wild Card picks:


EPMD


Gangstarr


Slick Rick

See you in 2008!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Celebrities As Activists... Is It A Good Idea, Or Should They Shut Up And Dance?

The situation in Jena has brought out the best in people, and the worst in people. There was a huge protest march a few weeks ago, and a few celebrities were there. Rapper Mos Def was one of the hip hop artists that was spearheading the movement. He was also quite upset that very few celebrities (especially in hip hop) made their presence felt.

This (and a discussion on my favorite message board) got me to thinking. SHOULD celebrities speak out on social issues? I'm split on the issue. On the one hand, it shows that they're not all self-absorbed twits and malcontent, and it shows that they are concerned about more than just how well their records or movies are doing, or who is dressing them. On the other hand, if they drop the ball, they come across so poorly that it would've been better if they left the deep topics to the grown folks.

A recent example is Adrienne Curry. Her attempt at unity by calling for a boycott of Black History Month and B.E.T. was so poorly worded and muddled that it did more to encourage hardcore racists to spew their venom and idiocy about their race. In her case, she was clearly and unmistakably uninformed about Black History, how Black people feel about B.E.T., and the fact that other cultures celebrate their heritage as well.

The best examples of celebrities speaking out, or dedicating their music to an issue, shows that there is actually depth to an artist. Pick a song by Public Enemy, X-Clan, Paris, and KRS-One, and you will see material that approaches the subject matter with depth and intelligence. Recently, there hasn't been too many hip hop acts that have united for a cause since the "Self-Destruction Movement" (as an aside, the fact that they never generated an album or two from all of those artists collaborating continues to be one of the greatest missteps in hip hop). The last time a collaboration of great artists popped up was during the Amidou Diallo killing, when rappers like Mos Def, Common, De La Soul, Pharoahe Monch, Kool G Rap, and others joined forces for Hip Hop 4 Respect, and released "One Four Love" as a response. Another excellent example speaks on the same subject. Bruce Springsteen's "American Skin - 41 Shots" addresses the issue of police brutality in a poignant and authentic way.

It seems that the best examples occur when the artists put themselves to the side for the sake of the bigger issue, and try to not make themselves bigger than the issue that they are speaking about. But when it goes wrong, it comes across as mealy-mouthed pandering, sycophantic blubbering, or ignorant jibberish. Adrienne Curry was just one example. Kanye West inexplicably received accolades for the simplistic "George Bush doesn't care about Black people" comment during the Katrina aftermath. The best part about it was that it was a live, unscripted moment. The worst was that it (temporarily) elevated Kanye to being more than just a whiny little brat who doesn't get enough recognition from industry circle jerks. One local critic (Jim DeRogatis, for those who read the Sun Times) even compared Kanye's outburst to the groundbreaking commentary by Chuck D. Seriously. Someone has to break it to DeRogatis that Kanye's "George Bush doesn't care about Black people" doesn't come close to the incendiary commentary from "Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos", "Prophets of Rage", "Welcome to the Terrordome", and "By The Time I Get To Arizona." What was more disturbing was that people were applauding Kanye, as if he was the first rapper to speak about something other than being the Louis Vuitton Don.

Another example of a blurb being mistaken for in-depth social commentary came from Janet Jackson. In her "Rhythm Nation" song, she sang "Racism -- NO!", and the critics collectively wet their pants at Janet being so "bold" and "provocative." This was during the time that PE was in their heyday, so it's not as if she was the only one who ever spoke out on racism. "Racism -- NO!" is fluff and pandering disguised as outrage. It's like Frankenstein's monster giving a physics lessons on the properties of fire by saying "Fire BAD." That reminds me of yet another Kanye moment. He released two versions of "Diamonds are Forever." The first one was the typical ode to all things shiny. But he released a different version that came about as if someone whispered in Kanye's ear about what happens in Sierra Leone so that he CAN have those shiny trinkets. It came across as a bit contrived. Yet another example is Oprah's "Crash" moment. Now, I haven't seen the movie, but Oprah raising a ruckus about not being able to shop at a fancy couture store to get a purse after the store is closed is hardly comparable to being targeted for harassment by bigoted policemen.

Curtis Mayfield, James Brown, The Last Poets, Gil Scott Heron... all of these greats have tackled social issues in one form or another, and have done it well. These days, few are speaking out about things that affect them.

I kinda agree with Mos Def that more people should've been down there. His point about people only showing up en masse to promote their material (movies, TV, music) or their material gains was excellent. But conversely, you don't want a cerebral misfit speaking like a goofball and shifting the movement into reverse. You get enough of that from idjits like Quannel X (no, I haven't gotten over his peeing match with douchebag Guardian Angel Curtis Sliwa). I do appreciate the fact that Ice Cube sponsored buses to go down to Jena, almost under the radar (he could've easily made a big issue about it, and drew attention to himself, and using it to promote a project that he's working on ["Are We Played Out Yet?"]). David Bowie donated $10,000 to the defense fund. John Mellencamp has angered up the blood of the "good white folk" in Jena with his song "Jena (Take Those Nooses Down)." I can't imagine celebrity boobs (no pun intended) like Paris Hilton or whoever's starring in "Spiderman 4 -- It's Electro!" trying to pontificate on the ramifications of a racist power structure affecting the criminal justice system.

What would I love to see? A united hip hop front where feuds are buried and the best lyricists and producers come together to be modern-day Prophets of Rage, creating a brand new Terrordome. Imagine the fury of Paris, Ras Kass, Vakill, Jay Z, Kanye, Chino X, Pharoahe, Chuck, Brother J, The Lady of Rage, Bahamadia, and others coming together to lyrically indict and condemn what's going on down there. Imagine DJ Premier orchestrating the soundtrack for the new revolution.

Do I EXPECT celebrities to speak out on social issues? No, especially in this era of mainstream music and movies catering to the lowest common denominator. I would like to see especially Black entertainers take more chances and speak out on real injustice. The things in Jena, police brutality, racism, these are things that will affect a Black person, no matter how many Bentleys they own, or no matter how often they get Hermes purses on special order. Mos Def shouldn't have to scream from the mountaintops about the lack of participation. But sadly, that's the case. And these days, Chuck D's words from from PE's first album ring even more true: "Just growin'/not knowin'/about your past/now you're lookin' pretty stupid while you're shakin' your @$$..." (from "Rightstarter")

Thursday, September 20, 2007

50 Cent, The Crybaby Gangsta, and Our Quarterback Is A Retarded Vagina



The Clash of the Titans is over. The numbers are in, and Kanye West's "Graduation" unequivocally beat 50 Cent's "Curtis." Of course, Kanye was being a whiny little snot complaining about not getting any MTV awards, and threatening to boycott MTV. But who knew that 50 Cent, the uber-hard "silverback" of the G-Unit family (and remember, the "G" stands for "Gorilla"), the same man who was shot 9 times, the same man who literally buried Ja Rule (but in an ironic twist, does the exact same thing he berated Ja Rule for)... who would've thought that the self-proclaimed "King Kong" of the music industry would be such an equally whiny crybaby?

After the numbers were in, ol' Curtis went off on a whine-fest of his own, according to the following news article:

Fif also managed to take a swipe at his record label, Interscope, during the VMA rant: "As far as the VMAs were concerned, Kanye received the upper hand. I ain't going to front. He had four looks — his song 'Stronger,' his new record 'Good Life,' he had a performance with Soulja Boy, 'Crank [That],' and then he came out with me. So I feel like Def Jam is doing a better job of promoting the CD than Interscope. Interscope is just relying on my base and the actual music. I was on the VMAs for one minute and 20 seconds. I should've just stayed home." ...
It turns out that Kanye had taken a page from Alonzo Harris (?) from "Training Day"... "I'm Kanye West... King Kong... ain't got NOTHIN... ON ME!!!" I actually would've loved to see Kanye go that route, but what's done is done. Meanwhile, 50 Cent is blaming more people than his "predicament" (if you can call selling over 600,000 records in your first week a real "predicament") than Joliet Jake when he was rattling off excuses in the sewer to his disgruntled girlfriend (see "The Blues Brothers"... one of the best Chicago movies ever made). I guess this is what hip hop has become. It's not enough that you get included in the industry circle jerks known as award shows. It's not enough that you go gold, and platinum won't be far behind. You gotta pitch a fit if you put out an unimaginative album, and blame everyone else but the actual artist. By all accounts, 50's "Curtis" is derivative, unimaginative, and it seems like he's phoning it in. Then again, I would imagine that it's hard for someone who made $400 million in a business venture to sound really hungry on the mic.

That's why I still keep my ear to the underground. El-P (a rapper who epitomizes the "backpacker" sound that guys like me appreciate) had an awesome video where he portrayed a torture victim at Guantanamo Bay. No video hoo-wuhrs, no bling, no Spidermanning and Supermanning, no things that are spinnin, nigga, dey spinnin'... it was a stark video. I wish I could remember what the song was about, though. But, I can just buy El P's new one and listen to it. Also, speaking of the underground, your favorite rapper's favorite rapper, the mighty mighty Pharoahe Monch is coming to town. And I am going to the show for free. It'll be a post-birthday birthday present to myself.

Rexual Dysfunction Time



A lot of noise is being made about Donovan McNabb's statement that Black quarterbacks are under more pressure than their white counterparts. Of course, he's right. I was reading a column by the Sun Times' Jay Mariotti, and he was saying that in some cases, white QB's are criticized just as heavily. During a "Family Guy" reading at the Chicago Theater, "Lois" called Rex a retarded vagina.

Now, in true Family Guy fashion, that is an insane description... but yet, it fits Bad Rex like a glove. Here's the thing, though. Despite the fact that white QB's face their share of criticism, you best believe that there's a difference in execution. If Donovan McNabb played as badly as Rex has this season (geesh... it's gonna be a long one), McNabb would be lucky to get a gym teacher position in the Chicago Public School system. But with Rex, and with most white quarterbacks, they are allowed to flounder more, they are given more chances to improve, and in most cases (save for QB that was traded to Cleveland, I think), they aren't told to sit down somewhere. Rex should be sitting down, while Brian Griese or Kyle Orton should be stepping up. After all, you can't expect a retarded vagina to do anything productive. Just ask Britney Spears. Heh.

And with that, I'm out.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Quit Smoking - The Gay Way?!?

There I was on the bus, and I saw a poster advocating that people quit smoking. That's all fine and dandy, but what struck me was that this ad seemed to be focused towards the gay community, especially with its reference towards the whole LGBT thing.

Now, call me old-fashioned, but how in the world can someone promote a smoking-cessation effort geared towards homosexuals? What... are their brands of cigarettes different from the brands that heteros smoke? Instead of a Marlboro Man, do they have to deal with the ramifications of the Virginia Slims Woman (you've come a long way, baby!)...

...it just seems to me that this community always wants to add their own little niche to things. I guess that includes smoking and ways to quit.