Wednesday, May 17, 2006

American Idol Producers Launch New Reality Show

Hollyweird, CA (Aslow-ciated Press) -- Capitalizing on the publicity generated by Idol’s latest round of felonious contestants, including the Idiot Twins Derrell and Terrell Brittenum in the current season, and Trenyce and Corey Clark from the previous seasons, American producers Simon Fuller and Nigel Lythgoe held a press conference to launch the newest spin on American Idol for the 2007 television season.




Fuller and Lythgoe announced the new “Oz Idol” in which wanted and/or convicted felons compete for a host of prizes. The prizes include a favorable parole hearing, a sympathetic jury, a night away from celebrity prison greeter Cumswalla, and a record deal. But this is a record deal with a twist, winked Fuller. With this record deal, the contestants get to have their criminal records expunged by as many as seven states.

Trenyce and Clark, already bound to servitude by their previous contract with the American Idol producers, have already “agreed” to perform, and producers are hoping that the Brittenum Brothers will understand that the second chance given to them comes with a price. “We’re not going to hold it over the Brittenum Brothers’ heads about how we gave them a second chance, but we do hope that they understand quid pro quo.”

Through their lawyers, the Brittenums were “enthusiastic” about their chances to repay the Idol producers for their kindness.

Details are sketchy with regards to the show, but early reports reveal that the early rounds will take place in county jails and low-level prisons across the country. Currently, there are no limits as to who can participate. Tronsavius “Shankums OG” Jones, who was convicted on 183 counts of animal sodomy and battery, could earn a pardon from the Supermax Prison in Marion, IL to compete against Mickey “Shifty One-Eye” O’Shane during the “Don’t Drop The Soap” competition. Jones, who previous won prison contests for best sodomy and most innovative use of jailhouse tattoos, hopes to parlay his angelic voice into a chance at parole, or at least a week or two away from solitary confinement.

Fox hopes to start airing the try-outs in early 2007, as soon as the state and federal government grants the network the proper clearance, and the charges emanating from the riots are addressed in court. Fuller added that America will be delighted to see what happened when Ronald Isley showed up at the auditions.

Celebrity judges will include Cumswalla, O.J. Simpson, Li'l Kim, and Leif Garrett.

2 comments:

Hysan said...

LOL!!!

It's too bad this isn't for real. I could just hear those discordant horns you always hear when someone gets stabbed.....but this time, when one contestant stabs Paula!

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